Slightly off topic: I recently learned that at least two of the World Cup stars are the offspring of mixed marriages between one North African parent and one Black African parent: Lamine Yamal and Kylian Mbappe. (Moriscos?). Hope to come across some theory of Hakan-style theory of the advantages conferred by this particular heritage.
Yep, dress it up however you want but the concept is far more entertaining when it's played as ice hockey. And even then it pales in comparison to Chicago Bears football.
Maybe there could be the equivalent the XFL for soccer.
We could have hockey-like live shift changes (the player going in can't go in until the exiting player is off the field). Players and refs could be miked up with automatic English (American) translations for the crowd.
If you flop, the player who "supposedly" hit the flopper could try to flop more creatively and the ref could judge the best flop - or better the crowd would cheer with a decibel gauge on the scoreboard. If the original flopper lost (not as loud a cheer), then there would be a penalty kick.
Mascots running around chasing the ball (outside the field of play, we don't want to get crazy).
BTW there should lots of penalty kicks, at end of each quarter (or half or metric unit, whatever they use). Obviously nicknames on jerseys, and of course fantastic scantily clad cheerleaders, like 20 for each team.
The stoppage time thing is a weird quirk of soccer that they seemingly like to indulge, much like their ongoing allowance of these obvious flops and fake injuries for guys who are barely touched. You see it so often, that you have to think that the teams actually teach it and have the players practice writhing in pain. Unfortunately, you see this type of play acting showing up more in the NBA.
I think it was George Will who said American football is in fact militaristic and corporate. A few minutes of decisive action punctuated by committee meetings to decide what to do next.
Baseball, in contrast, (Will's favorite sport) was pastoral and languid. Baseball of course decided that nobody today under 45 is interested anymore in spending a lazy afternoon drinking beer and watching the pitcher readjust his jockstrap, so now we have a pitch clock and crazy extra inning rules so the game that started at 1:30 pm will not go much beyond 4:30, unlike previously when it could wind up finishing at 6 pm if we are into inning 15.
The teams were of course, all on board with these new rules so they didn't have to go deep in their bullpen and ruin arms.
League soccer is very much like old baseball in this regard when there is no extra innings. Kickoff happens at Time X, and the game pretty much ends at time Y, plus or minus. "Extra Time" rarely reaches double digits unless there was a really serious injury.
And in league soccer, there is also an unspoken but well understood principle that if there is, say 6 minutes of extra time, and the losing team or a team that is tied and a goal would give them a win, somehow gets an attack going at 5:45 that could come to fruition, you give them the shot at it even if it extends well into the 6 plus minute stage. But once the ball is cleared, or the other team gets possession it is over.
Personally I like this unspoken principle. It adds excitement at the end.
The refs at this world cup have clearly been told "extra time ends when the extra time ends."
With the use of the Video Assistant Referee to rule out goals because someone’s toes were a couple of centimetres ahead of another’s along an imaginary platonic straight line, it’s a bit like if the reformed Rush only played Ramones songs. The offside rule is written for a linesman looking with his eyes along a horizontal line from a distance. If they’re gonna use a godlike eye in the sky it needs to be rewritten.
Maybe that explains why Americans aren’t rabid and nationalist about soccer. We can see that as rock music, soccer sucks. But speedy black dudes and big ass mostly southern white dudes smashing into each other in spectacular cacophony while fighting over pigskin? That’s not opera. That’s rock and roll, baby.
Slightly off topic: I recently learned that at least two of the World Cup stars are the offspring of mixed marriages between one North African parent and one Black African parent: Lamine Yamal and Kylian Mbappe. (Moriscos?). Hope to come across some theory of Hakan-style theory of the advantages conferred by this particular heritage.
More reasons why soccer is fake and gay.
Yep, dress it up however you want but the concept is far more entertaining when it's played as ice hockey. And even then it pales in comparison to Chicago Bears football.
Bear Down!
Maybe there could be the equivalent the XFL for soccer.
We could have hockey-like live shift changes (the player going in can't go in until the exiting player is off the field). Players and refs could be miked up with automatic English (American) translations for the crowd.
If you flop, the player who "supposedly" hit the flopper could try to flop more creatively and the ref could judge the best flop - or better the crowd would cheer with a decibel gauge on the scoreboard. If the original flopper lost (not as loud a cheer), then there would be a penalty kick.
Mascots running around chasing the ball (outside the field of play, we don't want to get crazy).
BTW there should lots of penalty kicks, at end of each quarter (or half or metric unit, whatever they use). Obviously nicknames on jerseys, and of course fantastic scantily clad cheerleaders, like 20 for each team.
I'd finally watch the game.
The stoppage time thing is a weird quirk of soccer that they seemingly like to indulge, much like their ongoing allowance of these obvious flops and fake injuries for guys who are barely touched. You see it so often, that you have to think that the teams actually teach it and have the players practice writhing in pain. Unfortunately, you see this type of play acting showing up more in the NBA.
I think it was George Will who said American football is in fact militaristic and corporate. A few minutes of decisive action punctuated by committee meetings to decide what to do next.
Baseball, in contrast, (Will's favorite sport) was pastoral and languid. Baseball of course decided that nobody today under 45 is interested anymore in spending a lazy afternoon drinking beer and watching the pitcher readjust his jockstrap, so now we have a pitch clock and crazy extra inning rules so the game that started at 1:30 pm will not go much beyond 4:30, unlike previously when it could wind up finishing at 6 pm if we are into inning 15.
The teams were of course, all on board with these new rules so they didn't have to go deep in their bullpen and ruin arms.
League soccer is very much like old baseball in this regard when there is no extra innings. Kickoff happens at Time X, and the game pretty much ends at time Y, plus or minus. "Extra Time" rarely reaches double digits unless there was a really serious injury.
And in league soccer, there is also an unspoken but well understood principle that if there is, say 6 minutes of extra time, and the losing team or a team that is tied and a goal would give them a win, somehow gets an attack going at 5:45 that could come to fruition, you give them the shot at it even if it extends well into the 6 plus minute stage. But once the ball is cleared, or the other team gets possession it is over.
Personally I like this unspoken principle. It adds excitement at the end.
The refs at this world cup have clearly been told "extra time ends when the extra time ends."
With the use of the Video Assistant Referee to rule out goals because someone’s toes were a couple of centimetres ahead of another’s along an imaginary platonic straight line, it’s a bit like if the reformed Rush only played Ramones songs. The offside rule is written for a linesman looking with his eyes along a horizontal line from a distance. If they’re gonna use a godlike eye in the sky it needs to be rewritten.
Maybe that explains why Americans aren’t rabid and nationalist about soccer. We can see that as rock music, soccer sucks. But speedy black dudes and big ass mostly southern white dudes smashing into each other in spectacular cacophony while fighting over pigskin? That’s not opera. That’s rock and roll, baby.