How To Really Fix Soccer
Who cares about offside or penalty kicks or whatever? I've figured out what the World Cup needs MOST.
One of the most fun aspects of holding a World Cup in America is how:
A. Americans absolutely cannot restrain ourselves from offering suggestions on how to improve soccer, a sport we may only pay attention to during World Cups every 4 or (in the case of World Cups in the USA) 32 years.
B. Soccer fans can’t help but keep getting rankled that Americans can’t grasp that their Beautiful Game is already absolutely perfect just the way it is and that its apparent shortcoming are actually strokes of genius. But they just can’t think of the words to explain soccer’s flawlessness to these moronic Americans.
So, to further miff soccer fans …
You know how baseball players, such as batters and relief pitchers, have their own walk-up theme song?
Similarly, what soccer needs is for whenever a player takes a dive and …
Paywall here.
