The United Healthcare killer and conjugal visits

Assuming the 6th Avenue Assassin was the man in the picture ...

Hopefully, the NYPD has gotten their identification right of the security camera shots of the United Healthcare CEO’s assassin and isn’t ineptly siccing the world on some random guy who happens to look like Jake Gyllenhaal in 2009 *.

That said, assuming this is the right identification…

The story about the now-famous shot on the left is that the lady desk clerk at the hostel where the suspect was staying was flirting with him and asked him to pull down his covid mask.

We shall see if that’s true.

Assuming it is and that this will lead to the killer’s arrest and conviction, I wonder how much he studied beforehand the New York state’s Department of Corrections and Community Supervision policy on conjugal visits:

The Family Reunion Program (FRP) provides approved incarcerated individuals and their families the opportunity to meet for a designated period of time in a private home-like setting.

The goals of the program include:

Preserving and strengthening family ties that have been disrupted as a result of incarceration.

Fostering positive and responsible conduct.

Facilitating post-release reintegration into the family and community, thereby reducing the likelihood of recidivism.

This guy looks like he’ll get married a half dozen times in prison.

Has anybody ever seen one of Tracey Ullman's comedy sketches about women who marry killers on Death Row?

Her 1990s episode of Tracey Takes On in which the incredibly grating Jewish lawyeress Sydney Kross bullies the meek English bank teller Kay Clark into marrying her San Quentin client is good.

But Tracey topped it with her amazing 2000’s "State of the Union" sketches about Gretchen Pinkus, the White Widow of the Texas State Penitentiary at Huntsville, who repeatedly marries convicted murderers.

These are extremely hard to find online.

Women who marry men on Death Row represent femininity at its worst.

Of course, men on Death Row represent masculinity at its even worse.

An interesting question is whether women who want to marry men on Death Row have basically the same genes as the men on Death Row, they just don’t have the testosterone?

Or are they very different?

Beats me.

* About 15 years ago, I ran into Jake Gyllenhaal in the local frozen yogurt shop on a Saturday night. He was extremely swole from getting into shape for his starring role in Jerry Bruckenheimer’s The Prince of Persia dud.

He looked really depressed, like he was wondering: “What was the point of lifting all those weights and taking all those PEDs if I’m just going to wind up sitting in a frozen yogurt shop in the Valley on Saturday night?”

Good question.

Since then, Jake has cycled up and down in massiveness, but he was most memorable in 2014 as the extremely gaunt anti-hero in Nightcrawler:

That striking performance led to his upcoming role on Broadway as Iago in Denzel Washington’s Othello next year.

It would be cool if they split their run in two, with Denzel as the expected Othello in the first half.

But then, take a few months off and return with a beefed-up Jake as Othello, and a slimmed-down Denzel doing his slightly gay Macrinus from Gladiator II as Iago.

No doubt they won’t do this, but it would break the embargo on white actors playing Othello that has ruled in elite English language theater since the early 1990s.