Which Types of Mass Shooting Were Bondi Beach and Brown U.?

Bondi Beach is obvious, but Brown, at this point, remains confusing.

At Bondi Beach in Sydney, Australia, at least nine innocent victims were murdered by multiple shooters at a Hanukkah celebration, with around a dozen wounded. It could have been worse, but an unarmed bald fat hero single-handedly charged and disarmed one of the swarthy shooters:

This is one of those incidents where the non-naive go: yeah, obviously, this was anti-Semitic terrorism, probably by Muslims and/or Middle Easterners (are there any Christian Middle Eastern terrorists like Sirhan Sirhan left anymore?).

Anyway, you owe it to yourself to watch the bald fat hero take down the terrorist gunman.

Indeed, watch it several times.

Meanwhile, what about the Brown University mass shooting in Providence, Rhode Island?

Back in 2021 I came up with Sailer’s Law of Mass Shootings:

If there are more wounded than killed, then the shooter is likely black.

If there are more killed than wounded, then the shooter is likely not black.

The explanation for why this works 80%+ of the time (“Law” was my being facetious and self-parodic) is that the 2 main types of mass shootings (a third type is the domestic slaughter) are:

- Where the shooter wants to escape, so he carries a concealed handgun to not attract attention from potential witnesses on the way to the scene of his crime. Then the (quite often) aspiring rapper starts blasting away in the general direction of the other aspiring rapper who dissed him, often winging people standing around in the background.

- Where the shooter doesn’t care about escaping because life isn’t worth living anymore (except for impressing other online creeps who are into mass shootings too), so he lingers to finish off the wounded, often with a rifle, which is more efficient at killing than a pistol.

But which type was the Brown U. mass shooting?

2 dead, 9 wounded and the shooter has so far escaped sounds like a typical Saturday-night-outside-the-hip-hop-club mass shooting.

But using a rifle in an Ivy League classroom sounds like one of those rarer but more memorable Columbine-like mediagenic mass shooting where the shooter doesn’t try to flee.

Strange...

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